Author: PrettyPiscean

We all think about people no matter how much we claim that we don’t judge them. But inevitably we do. I reached this to this thought after visiting an interesting place. The interesting place which I mentioned was actually a local amusement park in my city. It was bright with many stalls, a dozen rides, colorful tents and all. There was a tent which had caught my attention; it was the ‘Hall of Mirrors‘. After entering I noticed that there wasn’t much crowd in there. The tent appeared to be faded and old, with a shredded carpet which could not be called as a carpet anymore. The mirrors which were hung were all very old and unclean. They were hung opposite each other. Some were round, some were square, and some were tall while some were curve and oval. Very few people were mingling around, laughing, joking, wondering, frowning etc. I could see people looking at themselves and each other into the mirrors.

Now, you must be wondering what I was doing there. Well, I was over there with my niece, who was all over the place with excitement. We were moving from mirror to mirror looking at ourselves. In some of them we were looking tall, in some we were short, in some we were fat and in some we were ugly. But there was not a mirror were we were perfect; however, I happier looking at my overexcited niece. Her excitement was actually contagious.

I noticed that like me many people were looking at us and smiling. Some were openly staring at us; some were gawking at us while some were looking at us through their mirrors. It was then I realized that our Life more or less is a like our own ‘Hall of Mirrors’. Here we all see each other through our own eyes or someone else’s eyes.

We all have our own lives to live; while we get busy living our life. While being busy doing this we encounter many people in this lifetime of ours. We built perceptions about them. Some perceptions are of our own while some are built on others opinion and experience. Like the reflections we see in the mirrors, most of them get lost within these mirrors like a shadow of the past but some linger and remain with us till the very end. Sometimes it’s only us who remain with our own selves.

In these mirrors we also see ourselves with the others. We also see ourselves differently than what people see us. Sometimes we see ourselves as extremely great people. Sometimes we also end up hating ourselves. While people see us completely opposite of what people see us as.

What our life is nothing but a play of perception. Some perceptions match ours while some are completely different from ours. These perceptions keep altering as time passes. The time either fades away the person and their shadow fades away or it lingers somewhere in the darkest corner of our minds. These are later known as Memories. The good ones are at least while is rest of them as called as Experiences.

Come let’s look into these mirrors and try and look beyond our perceptions; rather than asking the same question ‘Mirror Mirror on the Wall; Who’s the Fairest of All’ rather ask a different question or perhaps no question at all…

Everyone says that there are two kinds of people that live in this World, “The Good” and “The Bad“. There was a time I also believed in the same; however Time and Experience taught me something altogether different. I know that the two kinds of people that exist in this world are “The Users” and”The Abusers”. How did I reach to this conclusion? Well, we’ll get there in sometime.

All of us are always surrounded by people at all times. Some are family, some are friends and some are coined as relatives while some would be close relatives. Then we also have different circles like office, gym, friends of friends and so on. Each of these we meet leaves an impression on us. We like some that we become close pals while some we never even consider. In all those people who crossed our lives each of them has left an imprint in our life. Something’s we would admire about them while some we would always despise.

Amongst all this sea of people we have the two kinds which I had earlier mentioned. They can also be called as The Giver and The Taker; but then they’re the Users and then the Abusers.

Explaining the above further, we all friends meet up, catch up on weekends. A random plan is made where everyone turns up. Then we go through the regular series of catching up, then teasing and so on. After spending hours it even though it feels like minutes the waiter comes in with the bill. The over enthusiast amongst the group will always pay the bill first. The rest would also volunteer after the bill has been taken up by someone. In this chaos we always fail to notice someone who will never pay for anything; although they would be present for everything. Well, this scenario is seen many a times. This has happened with us quite a number of times, no matter how much we deny.

Lately there is something known as Conveyance Friends. I came across this word while I was talking to a friend. She was regularly in touch with some guy and used to be a lot around him. When I asked her where would this be going? She said nowhere; he takes care of the bills, the commute what else do I need? For a minute I was shocked because I had never expected this from her. But then I realized that we would never know someone completely. Hold on, most of the guys would agree saying that yes Girls always do this; but yes, for this the girls also payback In Kind. Hence, I think we’re living in the old days again where we all thrive on the Barter System. The goods in transactions are different. Earlier they used to be goods while today its Emotions and Feelings.

Is there a way to avoid this? Ideally, I should be saying yes. But being a little Realistic I would say no. We all no matter how much we say are good get into this system on daily basis. The ones who do this on small scale are Users while the players playing on a larger scale are Abusers.

Our Mind, Heart and whatever is left of our Conscience keeps flashing us the warning signs which we conveniently ignore. We come up with various reasons for this. The best one is “It’s Friendship Man. We’re the buddies”. But the ultimate fact remains that one always keeps losing. Is this the correct thing to do? Being friends is a reason to ignore this? Does this affect the dynamics of the friendship? Frankly speaking I don’t think even Google would have any answer to these.

From whatever I understand (which is very limited), every relation has its limits. No relation in this entire world is selfless. Some would deny and say Parent-Child relationship, but again they also have expectations from each other. Good Career, Fame their name along with the same. It’s a win-win situation for both if all ends well. Or else, even parents sometimes feel regret no matter how much anyone denies.

Someone said that this isn’t fair people should be understanding. However, I say that people are much smarter than what they show to the world. Everyone would enjoy a free joyride. After all, that seems a luxury these days in such an expensive market…

 

Running away from people and keeping yourself away from them is very easy. Be rude or unresponsive people just walk away assuming that either your dead or in deep sleep. But it’s these very own people who teach us harsh lessons that leave scars imprinted on us always. He too was tired with the ways of the world. Just living in hiding buried in work. She got busy fighting her own life. Needed to reach a goal which was unlikely but she had set her mind. Their paths crossed in very odd ways. The parents came first then followed the rest.

He was someone who could influence you with his presence while she was someone who made a presence with a hint of influence. They seemed more like competitors rather than mates; each of them thinking that they were pushing each other further away. They were playing the game of chess never realizing they were similar in many ways. How did things start? That’s interesting because the wheel of destiny just churned them in. Round and round it all begin.

It started with a missed call which she thought now went wrong. Early rays of the sun on a weekend, she never even is up this early on any day. She saw the missed called and knew who it was from. In a panic, she freshened up and hit the call-back button. The voice on the other end was baritone yet a pleasure to the ear. She wasn’t sure what went wrong when he told her that the call was a mistake made in the early hours. She pretended that it didn’t matter, although somewhere deep within her yes it bothered.

A few days passed away with silence as he told her that he would be busy until no end. She knew that he had forgotten her as she thought wasn’t beautiful or intelligent of any kinds. She never knew how wrong she was about her until the day he told her what he had seen in her.

The wait for his call seemed endless. She quit waiting as it was always the days passing made it clearer that waiting never seemed to end & when it did; it was just another dead end. Giving up the hopes she moved on her life, thinking of a reason the call was less than 5 seconds.

Just being busy one day, she heard her phone ring. It was the shock of her life to see his name flashing on it. She answered the call, but he didn’t seem keen to talk. She called back assuming the networks game was up. He gave the same reply saying that it was a call made by mistake after all. She couldn’t realize how the phone ended up dialing her while he remained this aloof. Often she wondered what her destiny is really trying to tell her.

The days went on soon it became weeks she just got tired and left him in heat, Her usual day at the office had ended a little late. On her way back, her phone flashed his name. Answering the nerve wrecking ring; without a hello she declared to him that it’s his phone again that’s made the mistake. This time it was different, though, he said a hello and laughed at her reply. He must never have expected her to say this because he didn’t know how blunt she could be. A brief conversation took place between them once the snide pleasantries were done. She reached home as usual but never realizes the time. He did keep her busy all that time. Later at night she wondered what was he made of. He runs away from her giving her reasons then comes back to her without any reason. For the first time, she felt a little hope for the unknown connection.

Time flew as if it was in a hurry, he again became silent and she began to worry. She never knew what went wrong. She beat herself up recalling the conversation over and over again. Not finding a fault in anything ever shared between them. Her family used to ask her about him. She never had any answers to begin with. She told about the silence, they just assumed that she wasn’t giving in. She was told to take it forward, she never knew where was it stuck and where she should fire. The time went on, she couldn’t forget him. She wanted him to say a clear no instead of the silence which he was giving. Words mattered to her; words gave her the necessary final closure.

It was just a bad day. Being her special no one made it special to celebrate it for her in any way. The day dragged on. She realized that she gave so much to people that when it came to giving her back there just wasn’t anyone around her. The day ended in a mess. She thought that life couldn’t be worse so she thought to even listen to his ‘No’ today. She is someone who always looked after leaping; sent a text in order to end everything and all. She thought that this would make him say No easily putting the blame on her the way many did. She would’ve taken the blame for him. She never wondered even for a bit why she would want to do such a thing. She thought that she had to protect him for whatever she felt for him even in that briefest moment. She did the worst deed and waited for something beyond worse. She seemed desperate indeed. What he said next was a shock to her. There was no denial and a ‘Hi. How are you?’ as an answer. She thought that she read the message wrong or probably he had not read it at all.

The conversation flowed naturally as if he was just waiting for me to explode. The conversations now ended at night with a promise to see her soon the next night. He did text her the other day, but she was still angry because she needed an answer to his silence for all the previous days. She knew that she’ll ask him that eventually or probably he would tell that soon in order to keep this harmony. The days flowed so did the conversations from the day they began to till the night and beyond. So this started with a new story. I will tell you all the same soonest as the pages turn for newer stories.

If I ask you what is the hardest thing in one’s life I would get numerous answers from ‘Climbing Mont Blanc’ to ‘The Journey from Rags to Riches’ and so on. However, I think the hardest thing in life would be packing decades of your of life & memories in a suitcase; or writing down the entire 50 years of experience in a two page resume. I felt a similar sense of loss while trying to get 3 decades of my life into one suitcase. Neither, could I leave my things behind nor could I take away all my things. Everything I touched had a good or a bad memory associated with it. While moving from one room to the other room with my mother fretting over everything around me I could see the emptying cupboards and the filling bags. But none of these things could match the sense of loss I was feeling from within.

We have everything new which needs to be packed, but how to leave behind the old ones? They are a part of who we were and what we are today. When we have a pack up from a house full of memories, how does one decide where to start from? What if we leave some of the memories behind? How to decide which memories to even leave behind? It’s very difficult to pack the bags with eyes full of tears & heavy heart. No matter how hard we try, we can’t help break down a few times in the process. Especially when we know that we would no longer be able to come back. After all life is all about moving on and not remaining where we always were. The things would never be the same again. We would no longer be the part of this life again.

There is a new life waiting out there for us; which is chosen & destined for us. It would be even more beautiful than this home. But still leaving home nonetheless is always very tiresome; because out there building our own home is even more difficult. But yes, the peace of living in our own home is the best.

I might sound a little hypocritical in this post hence you all would have to excuse me. But then here it goes, Internet has a significant impact in our lives since its discovery. The entire world now has come to our fingertips. We no longer have to work our asses off to gain any remote information from any corner of the world. The virtual world has become our Reality while Reality seems non-existent. We all live more on the virtual world rather than the real one. Talking to strangers seems more addictive than drugs. But alas, all of this at the cost of our happiness. Now we actually need to wonder is this worth all the effort?

Yes, I know you all would say that I am playing the Devil’s Advocate here. Maybe I am, I am not denying it. But now this is why I decided to write a blog regarding this. I belong to the normal world where I am addicted to the virtual world & all the Social Networking Sites. On one of these I met someone who is so alone & is going through a bad phase of life since past couple of years. I wondered why was he alone with all the 500+ Facebook friends at his fingertips. Out of curiosity I asked the very same question to him. The answer was as I had expected, no one is usually there when we actually need them. Then where is everyone? Why are we so alone when we have all we could ask around us?

Maybe now it’s really the time to untangle ourselves from the evil luring spider sitting on the web he has woven to attract us to it making sure that we never leave. I think the trick worked very well. We are all entangled in this very web we call internet. Searching for someone who will take us away from our hidden loneliness. Somewhere we all are alone too scared to let anyone in thinking that loneliness would be a better company. But is it really a better company? Is it really better than human touch & interaction? I cannot answer this for anyone, each one of you will have to look out for this answer by yourself.

I was one a prey of this web running away from human interaction lonely but still better off by staying that way by choice. Was this choice forced on me? In a way yes, I had forced this upon me. I had made myself miserable assuming that the virtual people are better than the people around me. It cost me a lot of wasted time. Yes, Time a resource we all take extremely casually & by the Time we realize what we have lost we already have lost it.

What we think is hell actually can be someone else’s heaven. Why not? There is always something at the back of our minds which we want most dearly or wish most dearly & we see others having it. We soon conclude that our lives are Hell while the other living your dream is in Heaven. But is it always true? How do we know? Where ever we all are no matter whom do we all talk we all realize that each one of us is unsatisfied at certain levels in our lives. Have we purposefully done it? Or is this what Karma has served us? We shall leave the Karma part for other sometime or else this blog would become a bit too heavy for idiots like us to read. 😛

Now what do we do of these unsatisfied dreams & wishes? Come to think of it we really can’t do much about it other than strive to make our dreams come true or else watch others live our dream. When this happens we literally think that we’re living in Hell and the one living our dream is in Heaven. There will always exist the vicious circle