Marriages are a costly affair specially in India. Other than the Bride & the Groom everyone else is involved with much more enthusiasm. This enthusiasm cost a heavy price specially when things do not work out.
As per general traditions, I was also married to someone the family found. Like every typical arranged marriage, things went ahead We met, we liked each other, thought that we might make a good couple and moved on taking the next step. Then finally came the D-day and soon the grand affair was over. Over the next year we realized that we could not see anything eye-to-eye and hence as most of the marriages these days, he called it quits and I had not much choice here and I moved back. This story is not a sob story of what the break up. It is more on what happens next.
When a girl gets married she gets all the rights that a married woman has, attending Puja’s, she would be invited into different functions and would be given certain amount of respect. People start noticing her as soon as she is married, for the first years she would be a part of all the family get together, all the small events and the various puja’s and fasts and so on. There is a lot many rituals that come across her way when the Mangalsutra is worn by her.
Now a days, being into the marriage, finding someone who would accept you the way you are, not trying to change you for their betterment or for your worse is impossible. ‘Divorce’ now a days is more than common. People have lost the will to be not give up easily. Six months and plans are hatched to get rid of the other one. Maybe the generation is moving to fast & in a blur to realize what one might miss ahead. In all of this what happens of the bride who was accepted and given rights for all the rituals and now suddenly she has been revoked of all the rights because the ‘Divorce’ came into the picture. There is already a change in the bride’s life trying to scope up with the recent & new expectations and Demands. When one day things start to fall rapidly even before one can understand the waves of change come in & made her the Bride without a Husband.
The outlook of the people changed. The very same people who treated her like a Goddess now ignore her like a widow, The rituals are not for her anymore, the respect will not come her way anymore. The whispers behind her back are carried by the winds to her ears, making her doubt her very own existence. In such a scenario, where she has a husband who no longer says that she is his, who is very much alive, who she thinks of everyday, how is she to take the tides of Change again? We as a society have not changed at all. Living in the 21st century holding onto values of the ancient is only making life more than difficult than what it actually it should be. The respect for the fallen one is needed after all, the journey of restarting everything all over again is more than painful.
This is something we all need to think about on many levels. Maybe a change in a thought will make a huge change in someone’s life in the future.